the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
