i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
