Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
