dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
