butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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