The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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