i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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