Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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