did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Sober January is a disaster.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
