saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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