Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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