just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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