I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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