the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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