I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
