Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
This is my gift to your gina
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
