She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
