So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
