I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I got inside last night via doggy door
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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