I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize