We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
