I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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