nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
