wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
