OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
