if only i could text you this smell
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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