Got a toothbrush?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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