wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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