OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
