I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
