It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
