I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
it glows. i had to have it.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
