Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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