can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
