you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Randomize
