Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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