people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
