Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
