I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
