We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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