Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
