If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
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