And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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