Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
