omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I touched a dick in church today
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
