well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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