when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
