I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
