I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
