There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
