your parents love me but you hate me
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
