i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
