As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
